Puerto Vallarta: Seven Days of Sun, Sea, and Shenanigans!

In January of 2021, I took the leap and made Puerto Vallarta my home. While many foreigners who move here are living out their golden years, sipping margaritas by the pool (often with a plush nest egg allowing them to indulge in whatever whim strikes their fancy), I found myself juggling a full-time writing career with the irresistible allure of beach life. Picture this: I’m hunched over my laptop, fingers racing across the keyboard with the ocean as my backdrop, while my retired neighbors blissfully compare sunscreen brands and debate the best taco joint in town. They’re living the dream of endless relaxation, unfettered by budgets or deadlines. That’s not my life! Instead, I’m furiously trying to weave together witty anecdotes and profound insights - usually while fighting the urge to jump into the waves and forget about my responsibilities. It’s quite the wild contrast, really. One moment I’m jotting down notes, and the next, I’m scrambling to meet a deadline as the sounds of the tropics echo outside. Let’s just say my work-life balance resembles a delicate dance between crafting the next great novel and sneaking out for quick hikes at sunset - which, let’s face it, can at times be the closest I get to a spontaneous adventure around here! So, as a long-time resident of the area, when someone asks, "What would you do if you were a tourist for a week?", I can’t help but think in terms of affordability.

It’s a fantastic question, really, and the answer can vary widely depending on what you seek. Personally, I’m a weird blend of adventure seeker meets hermit, so I’ve curated an itinerary that balances thrilling escapades with peaceful retreats. For those itching for adventure and exploration, Puerto Vallarta offers a vibrant mix of activities, from exhilarating outdoor escapades to rich cultural experiences. But if your idea of the perfect getaway leans more toward relaxation and tranquility, don't worry! There is plenty of peace to be found among the sun-soaked beaches and serene landscapes. Whether you’re ready to dive into the bustling local scene or wish to unwind with the soothing sounds of the waves, this beautiful destination has just the right blend of excitement and serenity to create your ideal vacation. So, let’s dive in...

Day 1: Beach Bumming

On your first day in Puerto Vallarta, aim for an early flight to maximize your beach-bumming potential upon arrival at Licenciado Gustavo Díaz Ordaz International Airport. After a short transfer to your AirBNB, local departmento, hotel, or resort, head out to soak up the sun and sand on one of Puerto Vallarta’s stunning beaches. While they may appear to stretch into one long coastline, each beach actually has its own distinct charms.

Playa de los Muertos is probably the most famous beach in Puerto Vallarta, bustling with activity and located near the Romantic Zone. It’s filled with beach clubs, restaurants, and plenty of vendors offering delicious food and drinks. Oh, and a word to the wise? A quick and polite, “no gracias” is a great phrase when you want to ward off the puka shell peddlers.

Playa Conchas Chinas, just a stone's throw from the town center, is known for its picturesque beauty and tranquil vibe. The soft golden sand and crystal-clear waters create an ideal spot for a relaxing day by the sea. Plus, it's great for snorkeling, thanks to the rocky formations teeming with marine life.

Playa Gemelas is a beautiful beach located a bit further south and is less crowded - perfect for those seeking a peaceful retreat. With soft sand and clear turquoise waters, it’s just right for sunbathing and enjoying a quiet picnic.

Las Caletas is accessible only by boat and offers stunning natural beauty and a secluded feel. Once owned by filmmaker John Huston, this beach is perfect for snorkeling, kayaking, and hiking, making it an exciting day trip with plenty of activities organized by local tour companies.

Playa Mismaloya, about 15 minutes south of downtown Puerto Vallarta, is famous for its scenic beauty and clear waters. This beach was the filming location for one of my all-time favourites, "The Night of the Iguana," and provides a mix of lush surroundings and various water activities, including jet skiing and snorkeling.

And there are more! The great thing about Puerto Vallarta is each beach brings its own flavor to your experience. Whether you’re looking for excitement, relaxation, or a dash of adventure, you're sure to find the perfect beach that suits your style!

As the sun begins to set on your first day, head into town for a stroll along the lively Malecon, where quirky shops and talented street performers await you. Then, wrap up your day with dinner at a  restaurant facing the Bay. There are numerous options to fit every budget, but let’s be honest. It’s your first night in paradise, so maybe splurge a little on this one!

Day 2: Culturally Conscious

Strolling along the Malecon is a delightful way to immerse yourself in the vibrant culture of Puerto Vallarta. This lively, sculpture-filled boardwalk runs parallel to the beach and offers stunning views of the ocean. Start your day with a cup of local coffee from one of the many fantastic cafés dotting the area. Whether you prefer artisanal coffee with a twist or a classic brew from familiar chains like Starbucks, you’ll find the perfect pick-me-up to kickstart your exploration.

As you wander further, you’ll encounter the iconic Iglesia de Nuestra Señora de Guadalupe, or the Church of Our Lady of Guadalupe. With its striking architecture and towering crown, this landmark is a must-see. Snap some photos as your friends strike their best "Instagrammable" poses in front of this beautiful building, all while basking in the undeniable charm of the area. The lively streets surrounding the church are filled with the sounds of local musicians and the echoes of laughter from nearby eateries and shops.

Continuing your leisurely stroll, make your way into the Romantic Zone, where colorful murals and eclectic art reflect the spirit of the city. Each corner reveals a new piece of local artwork, creating an outdoor gallery that captivates the senses. Don’t forget to check out the indoor galleries, too—you can spend some time chatting with local artists about their work and get a glimpse into their creative processes.

Swing by El Centro, the historic district, where you can taste-test an array of street food at local taco stands—who knew gourmet tacos could be so affordable? And then visit the local markets, lively hubs filled with fresh produce, handcrafted goods, and artisanal treats. Sample mouthwatering snacks and pick up a few unique souvenirs.

As night falls, consider settling in for dinner along the waterfront again. Each restaurant is known for its mouthwatering seafood and breathtaking views of the sunset over the bay. The ambiance of dining outdoors under a setting sun is perfect for reflecting on your day's adventures while savoring flavorful dishes that highlight the local cuisine. You’ll create the perfect ending to an unforgettable day of culture and exploration in Puerto Vallarta.

Day 3: Adventure Awaits

Embrace the thrill of adventure as you head to the stunning Rio Cuale area. Nestled between lush greenery and the bustling heart of Puerto Vallarta, the Rio Cuale is a picturesque paradise that invites exploration. Begin your day with a walk along the riverbanks, where you’ll find charming shops, artisan markets, and vibrant eateries. This area is perfect for grabbing a refreshing drink or a snack as you soak up the laid-back atmosphere, while the sound of flowing water creates a serene backdrop.

Get ready for an adrenaline rush as you set your sights on the Jorullo Bridge, an incredible suspension bridge that offers breathtaking views and exhilarating experiences. As you cross this remarkable structure - the longest and highest suspension bridge in Latin America at 470 meters across and almost 150 meters above the Cuale River. Don’t forget to take a moment to relish the panoramic vistas of the Sierra Madre Mountains and the lush vegetation below. It’s the perfect photo opportunity to make your friends both jealous and in awe of your adventurous spirit.

After crossing the bridge, why not cool off with a refreshing swim at one of the nearby waterfalls? The splashes and laughter in the cascading waters make for a fun-filled escape from the heat.

For those seeking even more excitement, consider hopping on an ATV for an exhilarating ride through the stunning countryside surrounding Puerto Vallarta. Navigate through rugged terrain, lush forests, and picturesque landscapes while enjoying the thrill of speed and exploration. If you want to up the adventure even more, a visit to Mirador La Cruz is a must! This stunning viewpoint offers breathtaking scenes of Puerto Vallarta and the surrounding bay.

Once you’ve soaked in the view, cap off your action-packed day by joining a sunset dinner cruise. Enjoy a delectable meal while watching the sun dip below the horizon. With so much excitement packed into this day, you're bound to create unforgettable memories in the vibrant heart of Puerto Vallarta.

Day Four: Nature and Nurture

Embarking on a hike from Boca de Tomatlán to Las Animas is a fantastic way to immerse yourself in the stunning natural beauty of Puerto Vallarta. This scenic trek along the coastline offers breathtaking views of the sparkling ocean and lush jungle, providing a visual feast at every turn. As you set off, be sure to wear sturdy shoes and pack plenty of water to stay hydrated, while taking your time to soak in each moment of this beautiful journey. The rich flora and fauna will capture your imagination, and the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks will create a soundtrack that elevates the experience.

Upon reaching Las Animas, take a moment to relax and appreciate your surroundings before hopping on a panga back to Boca (or walk it again if you’re up for it). Whether you choose to take a refreshing dip in the clear waters or simply bask in the sun, Las Animas is ideal for recharging after your invigorating hike. The beauty of its setting will linger in your mind long after your vacation is over.

After a day filled with adventure and relaxation, why not continue the culinary theme of the region by participating in a cooking class? You’ll get to learn the secrets behind authentic Mexican cuisine, gaining new skills that will surely impress your friends back home—especially those who think a taco is just a taco! Master the art of preparing traditional dishes, and you’ll leave not only with recipes but also with a full stomach and a smile. It’s the perfect way to wrap up a day of exploration, combining the pleasures of nature with the joys of cooking.

Day Five: Day Trippin’

It’s an up and at ‘em early start as you set off (by private car, bus, or taxi - whatever fits your sense of adventure) for a delightful day trip to the charming town of Guayabitos. Upon arriving, begin your morning with a delicious breakfast at a local café, savoring the flavors of the region while you plan your day. Once you're fueled up, make your way to the beach! The warm sun and relaxed atmosphere invite you to unwind. Guayabitos is renowned for its stunning coastline, making it the perfect backdrop for a leisurely day by the water. Grab a beach chair, settle in, and indulge in some fresh seafood as you listen to the gentle waves lapping against the shore.

For the adventurous at heart, Guayabitos offers plenty of opportunities for exploration. Consider taking a boat ride to nearby Isla de Coral, a hidden gem featuring spectacular reefs and vibrant marine life. This unspoiled island is perfect for snorkeling, where you can immerse yourself in the underwater world, swimming alongside colorful fish and captivating coral formations. If you prefer something on land, embark on a trek to Mirador del Toro, where you can soak in breathtaking panoramic views of the coastline and surrounding landscapes. This viewpoint provides a unique perspective, allowing you to appreciate the area’s beauty from above.

As the day winds down, it’s time for a well-deserved dinner at one of the local seafood shacks. Dig into fresh catches of the day, prepared with local flavors that highlight the essence of coastal cuisine. Enjoy your meal while the sun sets over the horizon, painting the sky with hues of orange and pink. Whether you decide to spend the night or head back to Puerto Vallarta, it’s the perfect way to cap off a day filled with relaxation and adventure, leaving you with picturesque memories of your time in this beautiful part of the Mexican Riviera.

Day Six: Ahoy Mateys

Exploring the stunning waters of Puerto Vallarta is a must for any visitor, and there are a variety of tours to suit every adventurer's taste and budget. Consider embarking on a Marietas Islands tour, where you’ll discover this UNESCO Biosphere Reserve that boasts stunning rock formations, hidden beaches, and abundant marine life. Upon arrival, snorkel in the crystal-clear waters to witness vibrant coral reefs teeming with tropical fish, or relax on the secluded beaches, such as the iconic Hidden Beach that can only be accessed by swimming through a tunnel. This excursion is perfect for nature lovers (think Blue-Footed Boobies) and those seeking a slice of tropical paradise.

If you're visiting during the right season, a whale-watching tour is another unforgettable experience. From December to March, humpback whales migrate to the warm waters of the Bay of Banderas to breed and raise their calves. These gentle giants can often be seen breaching, slapping their tails, teaching their little ones how to be big ones, and even performing acrobatics in the water. A knowledgeable guide will share fascinating insights about these magnificent creatures while you enjoy the thrill of spotting them in their natural habitat. This adventure provides a chance to connect with nature in an extraordinary way while creating memories that will last a lifetime.

For a more whimsical experience, consider hopping aboard a pirate ship tour! These entertainment-packed excursions blend sightseeing with swashbuckling fun as you sail through the Bay, complete sword fights, music, and plenty of laughs. Enjoy a hearty meal aboard and sip on refreshing drinks as you revel in the lively atmosphere. Children and adults alike will be enchanted by the playful antics of the crew, making it an ideal family outing.

If you prefer a more relaxed vibe, spend a few hours simply cruising the bay on a smaller boat you’ve hired. These leisurely excursions offer a chance to soak in breathtaking views of the coastline, lush jungles, and charming Puerto Vallarta from the water. With the gentle sway of the boat and a refreshing sea breeze, you can unwind while enjoying the picturesque scenery. Many cruises even offer options for sunset viewings, allowing you to witness the skies transform into a canvas of colors as the sun dips below the horizon - making for a perfect end to a perfect day in paradise.

When your legs are back on dry land, it’s time for an organized taco tour. There truly is no better way of keeping your tastebuds happy than meandering through side streets and indulging in some hidden gems.

Day Seven: Adios Amigos

It’s your last day, and I know - it’s a bittersweet moment. But let’s turn that frown upside down! Spend the morning shopping for those final souvenirs, as you're sure to want a piece of this paradise to take home. Whether it’s a hand-painted ceramic piece, a colorful beach blanket, or a bottle of local salsa or tequila, the shops and markets offer a treasure trove of keepsakes to remind you of your time here.

In the afternoon, hit the beach one last time, and find a cozy spot to soak in the sun while you reflect on the incredible week you’ve had. Whether you decide to build one last sandcastle, engage in a friendly game of beach volleyball, or just surrender to sunbathing, embrace your inner local and enjoy every moment.

For your final dinner in Puerto Vallarta, why not consider a picnic or charcuterie spread on the beach? Several local companies provide everything you need, catering to a range of budgets, so you can savor a meal with ocean views and twinkling stars as your dining companions. The ambiance of the beach at twilight creates the perfect setting for reminiscing about the adventures you’ve had.

If you still have some energy left, take a moonlit stroll along the Malecon, soaking in the atmosphere one last time. Keep an eye out for street performers showcasing their talents, and don’t be too shy to dance a little in the street! The joy of the moment will leave you with unforgettable memories and perhaps a few new friends.

Puerto Vallarta is a treasure trove of experiences, from adventurous escapades to tranquil beach days and delectable culinary delights. Whether you’re a thrill-seeker or a relaxation enthusiast, this seven-day itinerary will leave you with memories to last a lifetime - and maybe a longing to return. So, grab your sunglasses and a pair of flip-flops because it’s time to make some waves in Puerto Vallarta!

Salud, amigos!