To Cherish a Year
As we wait to bid adieu to a year that’s been and welcome a year that will be, I wanted to take a little time and remind you all of a few things. They’ve helped me over the years, and hopefully some of my trial and error wisdom can help you, too.
Remember that we’ve simply been taught that a new year should bring with it a new us, but that’s simply not true, because you don’t need a new you. You just need to look after the you you are. And if you don’t get it right the first go round, no worries. You’ve got 364 other days to pick yourself up and start again.
I’m not a resolution maker, but if you are, please don’t sit there overthinking in an effort to make a list of all the things about yourself you’re unhappy with, but rather think about what is really important to you. What small things can you do to make those important things take center stage? This doesn’t mean radically changing who you are to achieve them, but it does mean tuning into what is important to you as a person and living your life around that.
I’m going to let you in on a little secret I wish younger Charlotte had known - don’t try to be perfect, as perfection is a myth. If you set yourself goals, expect setbacks. That’s just life, so reevaluate rather than beat yourself up when setbacks happen. Not everything matters, so assess what does and what doesn’t, and go from there.
If you find that as the new year turns into days turning into weeks turning into months, and you want to change your goals or even set them aside, then allow yourself to do that. Flexibility is far better for people than adhering to goals that become unobtainable. Only one of those things is going to make you feel bad, and why on earth would you want to make yourself feel bad?
Be thankful for the small or the ordinary moments that come your way in the coming year. Social media has allowed us to view the lives of people we know more often, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we view them more clearly. People post the extraordinary, the monumental, the noteworthy. But remember that the simple chats over a cup of tea, or the naps with your favourite pup, or the slow walk in a place special to you, or the many little invisible moments in our lives hold a great amount of weight. Make the most of them, because they all add up and mean far more than a seven-night all-inclusive in Bali ever will. And I’d rather a million tiny pockets of joy than a brief moment of happiness.
Don’t look back on the year and make comparisons. Don’t look to the lives of other people and wish you had what they have, or wish that you had their lives. It took me way too long to realize that life isn’t a competition. Life is a journey, and imagine the boredom everyone being on the same journey would bring. “You’ve got brains in your head. You’ve got feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.” Don’t let someone else choose your direction. I never did get a recording contract as a singer, but I still sing whenever a tune takes over. I still haven’t published a single book, but that doesn’t stop the stories I have left to tell. We all aren’t meant to be on the same level, so make the most of your level and find your place of opportunity within it.
I’ve decided to save the hardest for last. Why this is the hardest, I’ll never know, but it is. Be kind to yourself. Understand that it's absolutely okay not to be where you thought you’d be. At least you’re somewhere, and somewhere’s got to be better than nowhere, am I right? So pat yourself on the back, hug yourself as tightly as you can, and shout out to yourself, “I love you.” And remember that New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day are just days on a calendar. They don’t have a special magic within them that will dictate the way your life will go. They’re days like no other. If you can remember that, they you can easily live in the tiny moments of each passing day. And I promise you, that is the best way to cherish a year.